I am not coping well.
In February and early March I had a battery of tests run as my health has gotten worse since 2012. I’m diagnosed with hypothyroidism, a compromised immune system, no immunity to pneumonia, still have my migraines, and an underlying heart issue that needs further testing.
I have an appointment later today and I’m nervous going out in public but considering my health problems, I have to accept the risk to get more testing done and hopefully a way to start healing. We live in the Chicago Suburbs, in Cook County, and we are getting hit hard. I don’t believe we are going to see any improvement until early autumn.
When I started this post by saying I’m not coping well, I mean that. I’m not sleeping much and my anxiety is through the roof. I can’t help but think in a very fatalistic manner that if I get this virus, I will die from it, since I fall into that high risk category. I don’t know how to get out of that mindset. My area is barely adhering to the stay at home order, a handful of people that I’ve spoken to (including family) have told me to not worry so much and how annoyed they are that they can’t do anything. I don’t understand the denial that people are having! Our federal government has, and continues to do so, completely and fully failed us.
To switch topics and focus on some less negativity, I am going to plant some early spring herbs and vegetables this weekend. It helps to be outside, even if it’s the backyard. I saw that my chives and iris are starting to come back! I didn’t think the iris would as I had to divide the plants over the fall and it was my first time doing it.
I’m also trying to enjoy using my new MacBook Pro (first ever MacBook!) and I love it! The whole Apple ecosystem works so well and I appreciate having my iPhone, Apple Watch, iPad Pro, and Apple TV, all connected. However, for gaming? I would never give up a Windows based OS. I custom-built my computer for gaming and photography. Granted the only game I play is World of Warcraft… but still!
What’s going on in your area? How are you feeling about our country’s response to this devastating global pandemic? How are you coping with everything?