Possibility

Writing prompt: Write about all the possibility when chasing your dreams.

I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist.

Max Lerner

I usually say that I’m a realist. Perhaps it’s from being a Libra, but I try so hard to remain in balance. I don’t ignore the negatives in my life but I also try to not make them my primary focus either. Possibility… I love that word! It means potential to me. That whatever is going on in my life isn’t forever.

The downside, for me at least, is that possibility is endless and I will overthink everything and be unable to make a decision. What if it’s wrong? What if it’s right? I call this type of thinking “The Spiral”, because that’s what ends up happening. Our country seems to be burning to ash, we’re “led” by a racist dictator, and I feel so useless that I can’t fix anything. And of course, Covid-19… what if I catch it? I’m high risk, so if I catch it I will most likely die from it. Is this the start of our dystopian novel?

Now, instead of focusing on thoughts that fuel “The Spiral”, I think about the possibility of improving my day-to-day life. I crave lightness and brightness. Open spaces. Nature. Since I absolutely refuse to leave my house for any reason except for my doctor appointments, it means I want my living space to be a positive one. Now, I can only control so much and what’s I would like to do isn’t always feasible or practical or financially doable.

But I still dream and think about the possibilities.

You know the house and land in Practical Magic? That’s the dream. Now the chance of me ever having that is slim to none but I do what I can.

Growing a garden, which this year is the biggest I’ve done so far, is a physical representation for me. Growing flowers… rose and lilacs for the first time, more iris and lavender. My vegetable and herb garden has almost doubled. I’ve transformed the bedroom into a light and bright space. I’m carving out a little area for my spiritual practice that has fallen to the wayside over the past decade. Focusing on my kids and my herd of cats helps.

raindrops on chives

Basically, I am trying so very hard this year to tackle my health problems (granted so much is out of my control) and try to find a little peace in my incredibly stressful life. That it’s still good for me to daydream and think about my possible future.

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